I guess since we are in the 2nd week of school, I should give you some updates on what is going on in Jax. I thought I would be able to keep this up- but hey- I have no life, so in what part should I have time to blog. My husband is out of town this weekend and I spent the entire time on our couch grading papers. Papers where the highest grade was an 59% on our first test. Now I know that I didn’t teach some of them, because they refused to listen and I can’t control the classroom, but where in one class, in whcih I did teach the highest grade needed a 60 point curve to reach a 90!!!!
I am failing, these kids are not learning, and my classroom management is not working.
While I knew that insitute did not prepare me to be confronted with in in my ownclassroom every day. That’s a bit more difficult. People keep telling me that this is a good sign and I will be the one who will end up making a difference, but I don’t see it yet.
I kept telling myslef that when I get my own classroom, things will be different, I CAN MAKE DECISIONS. but this is false. My AP is telling everything to do and giving me no options- she is micromanaging things and then refusing to provide support. The district provides no support and my school only does it after they relize something is wrong- not when I ask for help. There is so much CYA that it is not even funny.
The other teacher and I are trying to teach, but we keep running into things that make no sense to us. Why do we need to tell every single student their FCAT scores three times (in reading, english and social studies classes)? Why do we have to ppull all of this data when I barely have time to look at the data I collect in my classroom? Why am I told to do one thing, then when I try to go do it, I am told I am not allowed?
I could share stories of the kids, but most days I don’t even like them. Maybe a few of them, but there are no cute stories or funny enlightening things to tell you no- my kids are just utterly disrespectful and care naught for their future. But I can not blame them- this is what they have been taught for 12 years. Why do I expect them to make a change in 2 months just cuz some white girl